omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
