And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
