So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
