There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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