pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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