this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
