Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize