Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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