Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
