i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Success! We fucked roommates!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
