You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize