Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize