If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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