I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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