somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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