she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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