You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
