Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
