i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
