Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
