What did we do last night that was yellow?
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
