I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
