I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize