it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Never joke about your clitoris.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
