you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
