I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
