You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
