Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
