Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It was confusing and full of hummus
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
