If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
