ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
