it was like his penis was on wheels.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
