They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
