Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Randomize
