I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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