i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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