Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
