i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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