Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
