the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I have aggressive nipples.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
