Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize