Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
