dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
