So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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