she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
