so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
