hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
