Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
