well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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