New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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