pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize