we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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