there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
