Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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