I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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