I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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