i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
