btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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