I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
