a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
