Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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