wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
