Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
