No, you can still breathe under the balls.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
