Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
