So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
