You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
